I remember when my lovely sister has given birth to two
twins daughter, that is the most memorable thing in my life. At that time, I was
in senior high school on second grade. I was in the school, suddenly my father
called me. He told me that my sister has given birth that morning. My father
suggested me to prepare my entire book and asked for permission to my teacher
to go home earlier. Then my father took me to the hospital. After I arrived on
my sister’s room, she told me that she has given to two twins daughter. Oh my
god, I’m really happy when I heard that sweet news, and I’m really happy to
have twins niece. I went to babies’ room directly with my sister’s husband. I saw
my little cute twins niece slept like a top on their incubator. They were
really cute. I really love them.
TS: the most memorable thing in my life
CI: when my lovely sister has given birth to two twins daughter
I'd be happy too if God gives me chance to give birth to twin children:-). I get the point of ur writing, and since ur CI is about ur lovely sister who has given birth to twin daughters, it's better 4 u to add some details on it. More detail info about the process, the specific hospital, ur sister's feeling, and any other stories related to ur sissy. Mind the rule of using different sentences, consistency of using tenses, and also the use of conjunction. By doing so, u will hev more developed paragraph:-). Nice writing.
BalasHapus