I have a beautiful friend. She is my classmate. Her name is
Siti Nurul Mutmainah. I always call her Nurul. Nurul is a quite feminine girl. She
likes purple color. Her favorite food is Korean food. Her hobbies are listening
music and watching movie. Nurul really likes all about Korean, such as Korean
music, Korean movie, Korean food, Korean culture, Korean style, and maybe if
she meets a handsome Korean guy, she will made of that guy.
Nurul always shares about Korean musics and Korean movies with
other friends in the class. Nurul also mad of Korean boy band. The name of that
boy band is 2PM, which have 6 members on that group. That is too many personnel,
I think. I also can’t imagine how they can share the song’s lyric to all
personnel. But, Nurul still has a different think. Whatever I told her about Korean,
she still loves Korean.
topic : Korean fever
controlling idea : nurul really likes all about Korean
topic : Korean fever
controlling idea : nurul really likes all about Korean
Nice writing, J. It's nice u make the font big as I can easily read it. Hmm, u didn't come when I explained about d topic sentence, did u? Well, the topic and CI are parts of the TS. Therefore, they should not be separated in the sense that TS is always in ONE sentence. The topic and CI are then in 1 sentence. Please revise it, and do not forget to analyze the concluding sentence:-).
BalasHapusUr writing is already good. However, u also still have to pay a heed to S-V agreement, conjunction, and the rules of parts of speech. Eg. when it's adjective, it's followed by to be,etc. Over all, ur writing is already good:-)